Who is a Beast? Look here...

Darkpro from the Bungie.net forums wrote:
When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.

Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better -blam!- do what Chuck Norris says.

We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but if Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.

Chuck Norris always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

Jason wears a Chuck Norris mask on Halloween.

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends".

Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the -blam!- out of the way.

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris speaks in Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound.

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Chuck Norris can judge a book by it's cover.

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can sing the last digits of pi.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays chip.

Chuck Norris never hides, he only seeks.

Chuck Norris divides by zero.

ADD is not a disease. It's just impossible to focus when you know that Chuck Norris could strike at any moment.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the -blam!- down.

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the -blam!- down.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

Ironically, Chuck Norris's hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living -blam!- out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

On the 7th day, God rested…. Chuck Norris took over.

Chuck Norris is actually Jeeves from AskJeeves.com.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris doesnt listen to music...music listens to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only human experienced in time travel. He has been known to knock people back into the stone age.

Leap year is every four years because Chuck Norris said so.

The only jokes that Chuck Norris laugh to are Chuck Norris jokes.

If Chuck Norris falls in water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented the color black. In fact, he invented all colors, except pink, Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't search Google. He just stares at the screen until Google pops the website he needs.

Trains stop at a Chuck Norris crossing.

Chuck Norris can fry ants with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris came before the chicken or the egg.

Chuck Norris is responsible for the death of Kenny. All of them.

It is impossible to see Chuck Norris on a cloudy day - he brings sunshine wherever he goes.

Evian mineral water has gained the nickname 'Chuck water' - nothing is more pure or refreshing.

The escalators were invented to help people while escaping against Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sneezes with open eyes.

The Moon is not running around the Earth - just round Chuck Norris.

Pencil is more powerful than a sword if it's held by Chuck Norris.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Santa once put Chuck Norris on the naughty list, thats why there's no Santa Clause.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer.. too bad he doesn't cry.

Brokeback Mountain is the pile of screaming men in Chuck Norris's backyard.